COCAETHYLENE
November 13, 2009
by WILLIAM NIGH
In these tough economic times, it’s best to tighten your belt whenever possible: clip coupons, cut back on food, sleep on the streets while you sublet your room for a profit. Also, try to keep your metabolism working for you, especially when it comes to substance abuse. Booze and drugs are expensive, but it’s not like you’re going to go without! That’s why we were psyched to learn about a three for the price of one sale that happens in your tummy every time you drink and do blow. The fire sale item is called cocathylene and boy oh boy is it ever bad for you. Have fun Friday night!
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RuralJuror: Some things money can't chop into lines. For everything else, there's Mastercard.
3 months ago
FOURTHWARD: You know, every time I turn around Craigslist has a job posting from some boring corporate giant looking for a PR guy. Journalism this, communications that, blah blah blah. Maybe if these kids the Guardian interviewed picked up with a cartel they could really fix the bad image drugs can't seem to shake. And what could be better than representing a product you really believe in?
3 months ago
uly: i like this line of thought.
3 months ago
yeehawmoolah: what a deal breaker. this is like saying masturbating while you're horny is going to kill you.
3 months ago
rdvega1: Now you tell me. Well forget it, it's way too late now. GONZO!!!!!
3 months ago
silaslassic: this is very very very very very very very bad news.
4 months ago
staypuft: hrm. i still get plenty lit when i do coke without drinking. it just doesn't happen as often as while drinking.
4 months ago
itsceegee: o god this is making me re-evaluate my saturday nights...
4 months ago
wowvovwow: i want to extract my cocathylene and freebase it.
4 months ago
DJHardCut: ?? lost on this one...
4 months ago
augustiniak: are you lost because you don't get it, or have you been the recipient of too much cocathylene?
4 months ago
nevermine: no way in hell is this article going to change my ways
4 months ago
crypt: i dont want you to get drunk, but uh, thats a fine chardonnay that youre not drinking.
4 months ago
Biff: Nice reference.
4 months ago
dttsc: This is so motivating. I'm going to do blow and give a speech about this to all of my friends, we'll call ourselves The Cocaethylene Team.
4 months ago
SearsPoncho: But coke is the best after you've had a few drinks. Goddammit, science.
4 months ago
cacophobia: Okay, first of all: that Guardian article is complete shit: "...few experts can agree on the nature of the threat to users, and indeed society as a whole." Thus there may not even be a threat. This is simply to scare people into not having fun. Forget it, I wont fall for it.
4 months ago
OhHeroin: so that's what it's called?
4 months ago