PRETEEN AFGHANI BRIDES ARE JUST ALL RIGHT WITH ME
August 19, 2009
by VBS Staff
The Vice Guide to Travel
- Stephanie Sinclair
It’s a known fact that girls mature faster than their boyier counterparts, so what’s the big deal with pairing up a winsome little pre-teen with a swarthy, middle-aged Afghan man? For starters it’s a much better way of settling bets than giving up a year’s crops and trying to convince an Afghan judge that your wife starved to death from refusing to have sex with you instead of from starvation. It’s also way easier to deal with an autistic child or two from the groom’s aging sperm than a Down’s baby from some 35-year-old crone’s wizened, prunelike ovaries, and on top of that, even if your prepubescent bride refuses to get pregnant right after her nuptials, you can always starve her to death until her prepubescent eggs learn their lesson.
All right, look, we’re not saying it’s “cool” or “in” to deny food to the 10-year-old sex slave you bought off a desperate farmer and are somehow legally allowed to rape at your leisure, we just think all the haters and naysayers need to step off. Europeans used to do this shit all the time in the Middle Ages and just look at how their society turned out. Pretty danged awesome is how. Besides I’m sure “If she doesn’t fall down when you hit her with your cap, she’s old enough to marry,” probably makes far more sense to your average rural Afghan than some shit involving grass and fields and playing ball. In any case,
Hey, how great would it be if they hired one of these guys to play their daughters child wedding. Afghani child-sex hat trick!
IRAN'S BARTERED BRIDES
July 08, 2009
by REBECCA RUSZ
If you’re a young, modern Iranian chick with ambitions beyond cooking and cleaning or protesting for the rest of forever (or until you go to jail or die on the street while someone records your last breath with a cell phone and become a martyr), you might want to consider, contradictory as it seems, an arranged marriage. Marrying a man you’ve never met in a faraway country is actually pretty common for defectors in Iran looking for a way out of the country. It’s one of few ways to leave without being considered a traitor. Read more on Viceland.com.
GOT SOME FLEMISH IN MY THROAT
June 26, 2009
by PEGAH
Shot by Kern
Antwerp is a strange yet beautiful city. It’s very tranquil, which is something we haven’t been used to on this trip (though it’s not surprising for a place with a population of 12.) Jim and Kern stayed in a hotel where the receptionist goes home at 8 PM (and which also smelt like babies according to Richard) and I stayed with Doris just across the river. Here is what Antwerp looks like on Doomsday.
SHOT BY KERN UBER BERLIN
June 17, 2009
by PEGAH
Shot by Kern
Arrived in Berlin this morning. We’ve been working and traveling non-stop so we took a break for a couple of hours which felt like a whole day off. Jim and I rushed into town to buy some new shoes for him, and we bumped into some very special people along the way…
SHOT BY KERN'S EUROPEAN VACATION
June 15, 2009
by VBS Staff
Shot by Kern
Pegah is a tiny Iranian lady who used to intern at our New York office, then moved to London where she does something for us called “DOPing”. This week, instead of beating the shit out of cops like her countrymen, she is hanging out with Richard Kern as he takes pictures of naked Italian girls for our upcoming European season of Shot By Kern . She’s also been trying to keep a secret photo blog of her trip, but thanks to our powers of deductive googling, we uncovered her little diary and have now subsumed it into the bulbous, Akira-like monstrosity that is the VBS blog. We’d catch up on it quick if we were you, because updates will be coming fast and furious now that she’s part of the Beast. See you Fridayish?
BRAZIL'S HORNY HUMANITARIAN
May 18, 2009
by VBS Staff
The Vice Guide to Sex
On Thursday, VBS spends the day with Brazil’s leading pornographer and statesman, Oscar Maroni. Oscar’s rise to the top of the smut trade is the first literal rags-to-riches story we’ve ever heard. At the tender age of ten he found a box of discarded women’s underwear and began peddling them to the ladies of his favela a la Bubs on The Wire. From that simple pantystash he has built his empire.
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