SEASON OF THE TRASH
August 06, 2009
by VBS Staff
Toxic
Just as our old boat-buddy the ORV Alguita is getting back from another fruitful trip to the Pacific Garbage Patch, it looks like the Scripps Institute is the first major oceanographic research team to take the hint and send a couple of giant science-ships into the placid, plastic-choked waters of the Gyre. So far all they’ve managed to net is a couple awesome-looking squids, but they’re only a few days off the coast. You just give them a little time and I’m sure they’ll get this whole thing worked out. Unless the North Koreans accidentally take them out.
THE SADDEST PLACE ON EARTH (IN AMERICA)
July 28, 2009
by ALEX DUNBAR
Toxic
Between the Imperial Valley’s failure as a Hollywood resort draw and the backlog of Mexican sewage and farm runoff still being deposited on the shores of the Salton Sea, we think it’s safe to say that it’s very likely the environs in this vicinity may not exactly be the most fortunate stretch of land in the country. Possibly.
Now the same geophysicists who’ve been holding “the Big One” out in front of our salivating mouths for the past however many decades are saying that Imperial Valley is already leading the state into its eventual (fingers crossed) grave. Nice one, Poseidon.
To get a complete picture of the ever-imminent disaster that will rid us of LA for good, scientists have been required to plumb the depths of the Salton Sea, conveniently located at the southernmost end of the San Andreas fault. Traditional techniques long failed to the find the underwater fault lines splintering off the San Andreas, but by measuring the reflections of sound off the 200-foot-deep lake bed, geophysicists at UC San Diego discovered around 17 mini-faults angled toward the mainline. The researchers propose that the San Andreas and way underrated Imperial fault are literally pulling apart the Salton Sea’s crust like greedy brats at a pizza party. When the surface gives into either of their pulls, rather than just shifting in one of their directions it slips deeper into the basin.
While this adds an unneeded extra layer of shit to the lives of the Sea’s and nearby Slab City’s assorted denizens, it does provide a helpful opportunity to quake-watchers. Tremor-inducing activity activity occurs deep within the bowels of the earth, just above hell, which makes Imperial Valley’s incredible shrinking lake a potential window to the seismic events leading up to the ultimate demise of California. Science!
PLAGUES AND PLEASURES OF THE SALTON SEA
July 17, 2009
by VBS Staff
Toxic
If you’re a newfound devotee of Leonard Knight’s paint and adobe gospel, you should check out this documentary on the ruins of the Imperial Valley’s attempted paradise on the Salton Sea. A slightly younger Leonard makes an appearance, as does an old evangelical nudist named Naked Don who’s like his weird, hedonistic bizarro self. There’s also an old Hungarian revolutionary, a manic real estate shill who brought the first McDonald’s to Haight-Ashbury in the 70s, a champion fisherman, and the spirit of Sonny Bono who was trying to push through legislation to revitalize the seaside before he was assassinated by that tree. Oh yeah, and the whole thing’s narrated by John Waters, who we could listen to for days. It’s sort of like the Brazil to Slab City’s Thunderdome. Except without the whole nightmare face. Go here to buy a copy
OFF THE GRID
July 10, 2009
by VBS Staff
Toxic
If the name of the producer of our trip to Imperial Valley, California this week is ringing any bells, congratulations, you have excellent taste in independent documentary filmmaking. Prior to teaming up with us, Randy Stulberg spent a bunch of time in the New Mexican desert, filming one of the most remote and isolated communities in the continental US. For those of you who missed it at any of the kajillion festivals it’s played in the last two years, the whole thing revolves around the community’s old guard of hippie farmers, homeschoolers, and mentally ill trying to deal with the recent arrival of a crew of teen runaways who call themselves the Nowhere Kids, which is putting it in absolutely the most boring terms possible. Seriously, the subjects of Off the Grid make Slab City’s assorted denizens look like homeowners board of Celebration, Florida. You can see some more clips from the film here, or if you’re ready to take the plunge, go here to buy a DVD.
THE SLAB CITY A-LIST
July 10, 2009
by RANDY STULBERG
Toxic
- Photo By Peter Sutherland
Due to its proximity to the Chocolate Mountain Aerial Gunnery Range, Slab City breeds what they call “Scrappers.” We met up with a part-time scrapper, part-time hippie/musician, part-time tweaker named Alan who’s been living in the Slab off and on since being honorably discharged from the Army two years ago and makes money scrounging the range for reclaimable pieces of ordnance (primarily containing aluminum and brass) and selling them to the local scrap yard for a nice hunk of change.
He insisted on taking us on a scrapping adventure in the middle of the night when the range wasn’t “hot.” Signs everywhere read “Danger: Bombing Range,” but we decided to take the risk and met up with him, Ernie, and a young lady he wouldn’t stop calling his “white trash girlfriend.”
7 DAYS IN THE IMPERIAL VALLEY
July 05, 2009
by RANDY STULBERG
Toxic
I went to Southeastern California expecting In and Out burgers, amazing Mexican food, two-lane highways, low riders, desert weirdness, and off-grid drop outs. What I discovered in its stead was the Imperial Valley: a post-apocalyptic dust bowl surrounded by the desolate but beautiful Chocolate Mountains, the Mexican Frontier, and the Salton Sea.
The Salton Sea was supposed to be one of America’s most glamorous bodies of water, an inland Riviera for the Hollywood crowd. This was back in the 50s. Then raw sewage and industrial waste started flowing up the New River from Mexico and into the Sea.
DID THIS KID FIX THE OCEAN?
June 11, 2009
by TERRY HAND
Toxic
For over half a century, Hollywood has colluded with the Department of Education to convince impressionable 12-year-olds that high school is a four-year-long pussy bonanza, full of weekendly keggers and sex-bracelet parties and barely solicited blowjobs in the narrow strip of woods between the parking lot and soccer field for those bold enough to reach out and grab the ring. This lie has kept attendance levels at a satisfactory level, but for those of us able to see the early- to mid-teens for the period of sexual fallowness it really is, the greatest thing that high school offers is the opportunity to totally nerd out on whatever you want for four years completely unconstrained by the demands of the working world. Either that or a chance to goof off and see a lot of bands. Up to you.
Daniel Burd chose the nerd route, and now takes his place in the pantheon of teenage sex-martyrs alongside Temple Grandin and Ray Kurzweil. Over the past two years of his youth, Daniel cultivated piles of dirt, yeast, and torn up bits of plastic bags in order to isolate the specific bacteria responsible for eating polyethylene. Once he figured that part out (it was sphingomonas) he bred the germs until he had a strain strong enough to eat through an entire plastic bag in six weeks. This may not seem so cool or out-there to you or myself, but it could very well be the first step toward stopping the growth of synthetic-based catastrophes like the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. Or the excess of CO2 produced by Daniel’s super-bacteria could eat a hole in the sky and give us all cancer in the next five years. Either way, we pray to the god of teendom that someday this gets him laid.
Dive Deeper Into Garbage Island
May 04, 2009
by Kate Albright-Hanna
Toxic
Were you psyched to learn about the Texas-sized patch of plastic garbage that’s floating in the Pacific Ocean, and want more? Watch Thomas’s interview with CNN and read his online discussion with the Firedog Lake people here.
I think most people usually experience bone-crushing despair and/or directionless anger after watching the documentary. We’re trying to develop a series called “Toxic Solutions” to counter some of that. Anybody got any ideas for cutting down on the amount of plastic in the world? Should we go after companies that use too much of it unnecessarily? Where should we focus our rage? Discuss!
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