SPERM SPEED

VBS Blog

February 05, 2010
by WILLIAM NIGH

Have you always longed for super fast semen? Pined for super-fertility? Well, luckily for you there are scientists working around the clock to make a wonder drug tailor specifically for your seminal needs. Researchers in California have found the molecule responsible for sperm speed. Pretty soon you’ll have more than one way to motorboat.

Unfortunately this discovery has no effect on the power or distance one can launch their baby batter. For that you still need Volumize or Exxxtenzor or whatever that shit’s called. But you don’t need that stuff anyway: love yourself for who you are, even if you’re a blank-shooting, limp-dick wuss.

listenn2slayer: break out the pineapple juice!

about 1 month ago
SearsPoncho: It's crazy what people will spend money on researching.

about 1 month ago
rufiomania: he shoot, he scores! faster!

about 1 month ago
dblhelix: i always thought that if superman is faster than a speeding bullet then his sperm must be really fast but maybe now we've finally caught up.

about 1 month ago
jiminy: that being, white guys' wieners are shorter and they have to shoot farther to make up the head (booyah!) start.

about 1 month ago
- Oakcliff214: Get em!!
  
  about 1 month ago
jiminy: weird. i thought this is why when black dudes cum in porns, their spunk just kind of trickles out and white dudes blast their shit like they're going to put up wallpaper.

about 1 month ago
- smearcampaign: i wouldn't know. i'm racist when it comes to pornography.
  
  about 1 month ago
jigglebutt: i hope this leads to jizz racing.

about 1 month ago
Oakcliff214: so will this drug be like the opposite of Mountain Dew?

about 1 month ago
- WartsNAll: Yellow No. 5 is a dick shrivler.
  
  about 1 month ago
dingodick: wait. that didn't sound right. i'm the shooter!

about 1 month ago
- Oakcliff214: yeah yeah, sure you are
  
  about 1 month ago
dingodick: dammit. a cross-balcony facial is something i've longed for.

about 1 month ago