THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE MARINADE
September 29, 2009
by JAMES TENAFLY
When you make a fine, quasi-chunky sauce to sell at market, it is best not to invoke the legacy of a man whose corporeal remains consisted, in part, of a teeth-and-brain bisque peppered with gun powder. Moreover, it may be advisable to avoid branding products containing merlot, chardonnay, and champagne with the image of a man known, in part, as a consummate alcoholic. Evidently, though, this sage marketing advice is lost on the makers of Ernest Hemingway Marinades. From the looks of it, the Ernest Hemingway Collection may have resulted from a cursory glance at the Cliff Notes for The Old Man and the Sea and the resulting notion that Hemingway was kinda like Wolfgang Puck, but with, like, writing instead of soup. Whatever the impetus, at least I know now how to best season a certain extremely rare cutlet I was inspired to procure by The Sun Also Rises. (Spoiler Warning: The previous sentence contains a dick joke).
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listenn2slayer: Hemingway really didn't seem the type to marinate his snacks, but apparently his "appetite for life" can be evoked in these sauces. If you cant afford to go on a safari a la hemingway, or venture into europe, you can utilize these sauces and close your eyes and feel like your ALMOST there. I wish this was a joke. Losing faith in humanity!
3 months ago
aikowest0002: VISIT MY PROFILE AND WATCH MY HOT VIDEOS!!!! VISIT MY PROFILE AND WATCH MY HOT VIDEOS!!!! VISIT MY PROFILE AND WATCH MY HOT VIDEOS!!!! VISIT MY PROFILE AND WATCH MY HOT VIDEOS!!!! VISIT MY PROFILE AND WATCH MY HOT VIDEOS!!!!
3 months ago
Samantha218: haha, I love the penis joke, unfortuneate that people will slap a famous face on just about anything in order to make it sell
5 months ago
OhHeroin: paul newman made some pretty good dressing. i'd give it a shot.
5 months ago
speedy: ernest seemed like more of a dry rub guy to me, you know?
5 months ago
augustiniak: i think i always saw him as a no seasoning kind of guy. just tore the chicken's head off with his bare hands and threw it in an oven.
5 months ago
JenB: Well he was raised as a girl
5 months ago
1up: i hope one is called old man and the seafood.
5 months ago
Jono: If this sauce is anything like he literature, then this is going to be great! I mean, it's going to have people talking about it for years!
5 months ago
drenched: ernest hemingway makes sauces and jerry garcia still makes ties. when are all the dead celebrity tie-ins (ha) going to stop?
5 months ago