WORLD'S BIGGEST RIP OFF

February 02, 2010
by ALEX DUNBAR

Driving-cat_blog

Cellphones, those terrible little plastic-and-metal demons that give you cancer and ruin quiet public spaces, are an enormous rip off. This weekend when you sent that mass text to 30 of your friends, you were charged a 6,500 percent markup for the service. Testifying before US senators last summer, computer scientist Srinivasan Keshav revealed that the same text message you pay $.20 for costs your provider about $.003. Not even coffee, one of the most egregiously overpriced products on the market, can compare.

While they may suck for all the aforementioned reasons, cellphones aren’t the cause of all the world’s problems. One thing cellphones seem unable to wield their unholy influence over: car accidents. Despite all the conventional wisdom, legislation and the resulting $185 “equipment fines,” banning cellphones on the road appears to yield no change in accident rates. So why do those cellphoned drivers seem so dangerous? No one knows for sure, but it’s probably the talking part and not the phone itself. Perhaps this calls for a ban on interesting passengers? Or how about that baby crying over a soiled sack in the back seat? Let’s ban that child altogether. Or maybe one day we’ll just acknowledge that piloting a 2,000 pound object at 60 mph will never be completely safe.


  • Default_avatar

    baya: Oprah is all over this shit, she started a big campaign about it...not that I watch Oprah or anything.

    about 1 month ago

    • Default_avatar

      bummerdude: so a lady that gives cars away to strangers is truly worried over her phone bill? i'm not buying it.

      about 1 month ago

  • 00090rz9_thumb

    rufiomania: no listening to the radio, no looking at billboards, no smoking, no putting on makeup, no looking for addresses, no no no no no no no.

    about 1 month ago

  • 00090rz9_thumb

    rufiomania: ten and two, kitty! ten and fucking two!!!!!!

    about 1 month ago

  • N5514968_38800886_7250_thumb

    itsceegee: you can't physically have a cell phone on you when driving? or you simply can't text? like, what if you run out of gas? or what if you're in the middle of bubblefuck, wherever and Leatherface starts chasing you in a truck with a chainsaw. what then?! HUH?! WHAT THEN?!

    about 1 month ago

    • Default_avatar

      wholenineyards: well if you ran out of gas you wouldn't be driving, would you? as far as i know, no state has a "no texting while parked" law.

      about 1 month ago

  • 28894-chola5_thumb

    Chola4realz: All of this shit and now our cabbies cant use thier phones either!!!

    about 1 month ago

    • Chester_cheetah_thumb

      captaincheesepuff: since when? my cabbies are always on their phones.

      about 1 month ago

    • Baby_kid_peeing_thumb

      drenched: i don't care. i'd rather them be talking for reals than hearing that goddamn chirp shit every five seconds.

      about 1 month ago

    • Tvbars_thumb

      RuralJuror: isn't the entire point that phone or no phone, it doesn't matter? it's the distraction that hinders driving, not having one hand on the wheel. really, who drives with two hands anymore? grandmothers, that's who.

      about 1 month ago

  • Lee_harvey_thumb

    Oakcliff214: People under the influence of cellphones. puhleeeze?! Its people being under the influence of being people.

    about 1 month ago

  • Jorts_thumb

    jorts: i'm glad to see this cat is a buckled up for safety. never know when he might encounter a driver with an interesting passenger.

    about 1 month ago

  • Images-1_thumb

    cacophobia: people are still going to use their cell phones to text whilst driving of course.

    about 1 month ago

    • N5514968_38800886_7250_thumb

      itsceegee: fact. gotta stay connected.

      about 1 month ago

  • Kaizen_thumb

    Kaizen: "Or maybe one day we’ll just acknowledge that piloting a 2,000 pound object at 60 mph will never be completely safe." Well, who would've thunk it! lol, it's crazy how our society/culture is so quick to blame everything and everyone except the culprit itself.

    about 1 month ago

  • Reno_drool_thumb

    sassafras: there are so many driving mysteries yet to unravel. like, why do old ladies sit so close to the steering wheel and drive so slowly? why do black people like backing into parking spaces so much? why to teenage white girls like writing things in shaving cream on their windows so much? it's virtually an endless chasm of mystery when you start thinking it over.

    about 1 month ago

    • Images_thumb

      KirbyPuckett: For quick getaways, doyyyyyyyyye!

      about 1 month ago

  • Pr_screech_owl_thumb

    VowelOwl1: .0003 cents a text? wtf? all of those times i was charged like $760 on my bills! wtf!

    about 1 month ago

    • Kaizen_thumb

      Kaizen: lol... and I'm sure the ".003" is a "6,500%" markup itself. If they will pay it, it will be charged. lol

      about 1 month ago

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